This week will mark the 2021 World Prematurity Day, which takes place on November 17. For this occasion, I would like to reflect on our own journey. I will be sharing some of the things that helped me and my daughter to some extend while she was still in the NICU. Being a preemie parent is a really overwhelming experience to say the least. There is really no way to explain it except to live it. There is a lot of ups and down but also some joy in there just to see your little one fighting so hard. From this experience which lasted 120 days, here are some things that helped me:

1. Being physically present in the NICU

With all the specialists surrounding your baby; nurses, doctor, you can feel useless for a lack of a better word. Being physically there allowed me to know my daughter as much as possible while she was there. I was also able to learn about all her treatments and care. This eventually allowed me to do most of her care independently. I was able to be present during the doctor’s round and ask questions or raise concerns and feel as part of “the team”. 

2. Kangaroo care/reading to baby, talking to baby

I will elaborate more on kangaroo care in an upcoming post but it’s basically a method of holding a baby that involves skin-to-skin contact. It really helped me with bonding with my daughter. I was able to hold her for hours once she was more stable. There were some ups and down in the beginning but once she was comfortable it also helped her. While holding your baby you can also read to them, talk or even sing to them.

3. Choosing a primary nurse

This was definitely a game changer for us. I believe this is a practice that is available in a majority of NICU. Once you are familiar with your nurses, you can ask them (up to 4 nurses for us) to be your babies’ primary nurse. This way your primary nurses will always care for your baby once they are working. This allows some consistency and some peace of mind. Once I found my primaries as they are referred to, it was a bit easier. I can go more in details in a separate post but they were instrumental in my daughter’s discharge.

4. Taking some self-care time

This is not really a one size fits all. For me personally I couldn’t stay away from her side for too long. It was just easier for me mentally to be there as much as possible. Self-care may differ from a person to another. It can be something as small as leaving the hospital to get your hair done; which is something I did twice. I believe there is no right way to do it. As long as you can leave the room even for 30 minutes, recharge and come back.

5. Pumping /Breastfeeding

This is really a personal choice. I’m aware that not everyone is able to breastfeed or decides to do it for specific reasons. In my case since she wasn’t able to eat through the mouth until about 2-3 weeks before her discharge date, I tried to pump as much as possible and leave my milk in her fridge for her to have through her feeding tube. I had planned on breastfeeding but this was the closest thing to it so I made due with it. In all, always remember fed is best. I did have a time when she was in the NICU and I could not pump enough for her feeds; she was then supplemented with formula.

6. Prayers

The last but not the least, this was very instrumental for me. I’ve always been a Christian. However, this time took my faith to another dimension. It was really a test and prayers really helped me navigate through all the hurdles. All the difficulties didn’t magically disappear but it really helped me ease my mind and fight through all the emotions.